Understanding what is causing you to feel insecure

The 5 Types of Insecurities and 3 Ways to Overcome Them

Photo by Nate Neelson on Unsplash

It’s not your fault

The seeds of your future insecurities are sown in your early years. That’s when you learn what to value and what to reject, what to embrace and what to fear. Your family, teachers, and friends teach you how to act in certain situations.

Insecure people tend to overreact when they feel criticized or threatened in any way.

When your parent tells you that no one likes the outfit you’re wearing, it might not seem like a big deal at the time — but it could have long-lasting effects on how confident and secure you feel about yourself.

Making sense of the fear of rejection

The one who has a deep desire to be in a relationship is often fearful of being rejected. They fear that the other person might not be interested in him or her.

Types of Insecurities

Low Self-Esteem:

We feel insecure because we don’t value ourselves or our lives. When we don’t value ourselves, we think less of ourselves than other people do. This makes us think that other people are better than us or more deserving than us. We can have low self-esteem in different areas of our lives including physical appearance, relationships, intelligence, and career success. No matter what area of our lives it is in, low self-esteem always leads to feelings of insecurity.

High Self-Esteem:

We feel insecure because we are overly confident in our abilities. We are so confident that we don’t see our flaws or weaknesses. This can lead to a false sense of superiority over other people. When we think we are better than other people, it makes us feel like they are less valuable than us. This can make us feel superior to them and like they don’t deserve the same things that we do.


We feel insecure because we have experienced shame in our lives. When we experience shame, it makes us feel inferior to other people and less deserving of love and happiness. Shame usually comes from traumatic experiences in our lives such as abuse, rejection, or abandonment. It can also come from being told that you aren’t good enough or aren’t deserving of love or success by parents, teachers, coaches, friends, partners, etc.


We feel insecure because we have done something wrong and want to hide it from others. When we feel guilty about something that we have done or said, it makes us want to hide it from others so they won’t know what is going on inside of us. The guilt leads to feelings of insecurity because when other people are around us, we feel like they are judging us and that they know what we have done. We also feel like we are not worthy of love or happiness because of what we have done.


We feel insecure because we don’t take responsibility for our lives. When we are not taking responsibility for our lives, we think that everything that happens to us is someone else’s fault. This makes us feel like other people are controlling our lives and that they are responsible for the way we feel. It also makes us feel like we have no control over our own happiness and that other people have all of the power over us. This can lead to feelings of insecurity because it makes us feel like we are not in control of our own lives.

Here are some ways you can improve on your insecurities

Realizing your self-worth:

It is hard to feel secure when we don’t value ourselves. When we are constantly putting ourselves down, we will feel insecure about ourselves. It is very important to realize that we all have value and deserve to be happy.

Asking for help:

Insecurity makes us think that we have to do everything on our own. We think it is weak or stupid to ask for help when we need it. However, asking for help is a sign of strength. It shows that we are willing to ask for help when we need it and that we are willing to trust others.

Working on your own self-esteem:

Insecurity makes us focus on our own flaws and not our good qualities. In order to feel secure, we need to focus on our good qualities and build up our self-esteem. This is done by taking care of ourselves and doing things that make us happy. Go out with friends, do things that you enjoy, go on a vacation, eat at your favorite restaurant…do whatever makes you happy!

Founder of Cudy Technologies (www.cudy.co), a full-stack EdTech startup helping teachers and students teach and learn better. I am also a mentor and investor.